The inner workings of a 4 year old mind.

                                 

My husband is watching a show on The Science Channel and someone said the word produce. My 4 year old just happened to walk in right at that moment. Here is the conversation that occured.

4 year old: "Produce?"

Me: "Yes, you know what produce is, right?"

4 year old: "Is it this?" He then proceeded to hold up his hand like this. 

That's my son, haha!

Thing One and Thing Two

Today is one of those days, as a mom, that I wish I had a nanny. My husband has taken my car to work every day this week because his battery is completely dead (he knew he needed a new one and it won't hold a charge anymore at all) and he wanted to make sure it didn't fry anything else before he changed it. So, we decided to wait until tomorrow because money was low and he really despises working on car after work. Plus, my car has a/c and his doesn't. The boys and I have gone swimming and taken walks this week but for the most part, we have been inside all week. It's over 100 heat index so there isn't much we can do outside.

For the past month, my boys have been ganging up on me and their target of battle is the kitchen. It was started by my 19 month old and the 4 year old is very much a follower with his brother. Every time I leave the main part of the house (ie. go to the bathroom, get the mail, take a shower), they stampede the kitchen and empty cabinets, the pantry, the garbage can, the refrigerator, and this week, they added the sink. They are fast and thorough, much like Thing One and Thing Two. I always make them clean it up but they love to clean. On Wednesday, I heard a crash while I was in the bathroom. The Little One was pulling stuff out of the sink and threw a glass plate on the floor. Obviously, he couldn't clean that up. Well, today, The Big One decided that was a fun game two days ago and he threw a glass bowl on the floor when I went to get something out of my room. It didn't shatter like the plate but the bottom cracked. I spanked him but nothing phases these boys!

We have tried cabinet locks (they figured those out the first week), taping the cabinets closed (they pulled it off), furniture barricades (they climb over), spankings (they laugh), yelling (they laugh), and long time outs (they laugh.) We didn't want to buy a baby gate because The Big One knows how to open them and we hoped this behavior would get old. It hasn't so, the baby gate is my last hope for sanity. My only consolation is that usually when The Little One gets bored, The Big One does, too. I am hoping if one can't get it, they will both move on. Hopefully...

Parents Say...

We all know kids say the darndest things but as a parent, we also find ourselves saying things we never ever imagined would need to come out of our mouths. I got this idea from Rediscovering Domesticity and decided to post my own list.

These are things I have actually said and most of them were pretty recent.

"No, you don't need to smell your brother's poop because I am sure it's poop." (to my 4 year old)

"Get off your brother, he does not like when you sit on his head." (to my 4 year old)

"Do not bite that lady's leg! She is not food!" (to my 17 month old)

"Please don't lick the window. I will give you a wet paper towel to clean it because spit doesn't really clean." (to both of them)

"Stop putting cars in the fish tank. Fish don't drive." (to both of them at one time or another)

"Poop or pee?" (I ask my 4 year old this daily. He now asks me when we are in public restrooms. It is now a habit even though I really don't care anymore, haha.) 

"Do not whack him with that carrot! Carrots are not swords." (to my 4 year old, I have also said that sentence about celery and french fries.)


What have you said to your kids that made you wish for adult conversation?